Friday, July 22, 2005
Regression leads to progress?
You waited at home all day yesterday for deliveries to be made. 1. If you are told to wait at home all day, you'll want to go out, even though you would have wanted to stay at home due to the 40ºC weather otherwise. 2. It's not customer service to not call a waiting client all week because a piece of furniture in delivery list is damaged and they are having a new one delivered. When you've hounded them down to demand to know why your furniture is not being delivered, they tell you bed is being delivered sometime next week. Curses! 3. Your place is in chaos, but having 18 boxes delivered from Ikea to be assembled in this mess while a little overwhelming, it's still progress. Except that you cannot manoeuvre any of the bigger boxes on your own. 4. Having two left legs of a file cabinet base will not help you assemble furniture. You must wait until boyfriend comes home so you can go to Ikea to get it exchanged. He tells you if you had a bike you could have biked there during the day. You laugh your head off at the suggestion. In 40 degrees? Please! He calls his Dad to ask about funny sounds the car A/C is making. Dad suggests not using the A/C. Boyfriend laughs his head off at the suggestion. In 40 degrees? Please! 5. Mattress is delivered 15 minutes shy of promised delivery time and they manage to scuff up a newly painted wall in the progress. You had to twist their arm to get the mattress out of the box like that's too much to ask. You wanted to ask them to take it out of the plastic too, but figured you'd have a better time doing it on your own since they are incompetent. They looked shocked when you expected them to bring mattress into the bedroom when they arrived at your door with mattress in box. [Boyfriend editing reminds you to tell the world that the bedroom was also empty, which makes the scuffing all the more ridiculous, or still expected as they are incompetent.] 6. Happy day it is to discover that the new sheets are deep enough that they do fit the queen bed. 7. Delivery people call and ask if they accidentally deliver a King to your place. He asks if you still have the box, and you told him no nicely when you wanted to say "Fuck no!". You had to measure and read him measurements to convince him you don't have the King while you stare at your queen sheets on your queen mattress. You will not recap frustrations from previous the day when you tried to arrange for the delivery, when this sentence could not be understood: "Hello, My name is May and I'm calling on behalf of [insert boyfriend's name here] to arrange for delivery of a mattress he has ordered." 8. You go grocery shopping, while on the one hand, it's the first time you've got good baguettes as they were freshly delivered and you think things are looking up. You go to the meat section and ask the non-butcher entity to freeze pack your selections, he doesn't understand the concept. You sob silently inside desperately missing Agata and Citarella. You openly sob on boyfriend shoulder after walking 20 feet away from the butcher guy. You lament again about the fact that you can't find the spiral cut ham that all your friends rave about. Your boyfriend ignores you and walks away to get cereal. You vow to track down such a product so he doesn't think you're crazy. 9. You and boyfriend assembled the file cabinet after return from Ikea and grocery shopping. Can you love a piece of furniture? Think so! 10. After having slept on the carpeted floor for the past 5 days, sleeping on new mattress feels like heaven. You have extra trouble getting out of bed the next day. (Okay, you are just lazy and have this trouble every day, but the mattress is heavenly.) 11. You will now go have lunch and tell yourself to attempt to assemble another piece of furniture before boyfriend comes home.